Self-improvement pioneer and author of ´How to Win Friends and Influence People', Dale Carnegie, once said - “The royal road to a person's heart is to talk about the things he or she treasures most. If we talk to people about what they are interested in, they will feel valued and value us in return." Inspired by Carnegie's simple but profound advice, we would like to show you how to be the most interesting person in ANY room:
Become a Skilled Conversationalist
One of the key questions Dating Experts are asked is "What should I talk about on a first date?". Often, singles are afraid of talking too much/talking too little/raising controversial subjects.
In all areas of life, mastering the practical skill of conversation will bring benefits. People who make others feel at ease are more successful at networking, interviews, sealing deals, building strong friendships, maintaining bonds with family members, establishing happy, romantic relationships.
In The Art of Civilised Conversation, author Margaret Shepherd offers fantastic advice to help you get beyond ´hello´. From great opening lines to body language insights, this is a great little book for those wanting to polish their conversational skills.
Follow Four Simple Principles
Dale Carnegie used a set of simple principles to teach others how to connect with ease in both professional and social situations:
- Principle 1: Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
- Principle 2: Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
- Principle 3: Talk about your own mistakes before criticising the other person.
- Principle 4: Ask questions instead of giving direct orders
There is a world of difference between honest appreciation and empty flattery. Make your words authentic. The more specific and sincere you are, the more effectively your message will land. Congratulate others on their personal achievements and praise their best qualities. As human beings, we are always focusing on what we feel we did wrong, think about how wonderful it is when others tell you what you did right!
Avoid yes/no questions. These kinds of questions promote numerous pauses. Use open questions to keep the conversation following.
Live an Interesting Life
An interesting life can be created very quickly simply by surrounding yourself with great books; staying in touch with current affairs; visiting galleries and museums; taking up a sport/writing (blogs/novels/poetry); enrolling in dance classes; taking a course at your local college/university/online.
By living an interesting life, you naturally become interesting to others. Think about this - if you are boring yourself, you are going to bore the people around round you. Get active mentally and physically.
Popularity isn't a fixed state. If you have struggled to connect with others, or feel that people find you somewhat unlikeable, there are simple ways to turn things around.
Firstly, it's essential to develop a warmer persona. Obviously, it is important to stay authentic, but practice the art of smiling and offering a warm welcome to those who encounter you. The wonderful news is, smiling and uplifting others will have a positive impact on your day. If things aren't going well for you at any particular time, warmly engage with another person and smile. Your stress levels will start to drop instantly. By lifting others, we lift ourselves.
Be mindful about your own mood. Those who understand the art of connection do not feel as though they have to throw black moods at others. It's okay to feel down, but don't wear a dark cloud like an ominous cloak. Deal with your feelings responsibly - don't spread them around like a virus.
Be an Active Listener
There are some simple guidelines to follow when it comes to being a good listener.
Maintain Eye Contact
Show that you are giving the other person your full focus. When people feel ´seen and heard´ they feel good.
Read body language signs. You will be able to sense whether things are going well and in turn, will be able to switch up the conversation if necessary.
By keeping an open, accepting attitude you will make the other person feel at ease. When someone is able to be their authentic selves, they start to shine - bring this out in others.
It is never too late to learn how to be the most interesting person in ANY room. If you would like further advice on how to improve your social skills and dating success, our team of experts are waiting to hear from you. Contact us today!